Living Together, Sharing Everything — But What Happens If It Ends?

Marriage isn’t the only way people build lives together. More and more couples in South Africa are choosing to live together without ever tying the knot. For many, it’s a personal choice — based on practicality, financial independence, or simply not seeing marriage as a necessary step.

But while love, trust, and shared commitment hold these relationships together, they don’t hold up in court. The law doesn’t automatically protect you just because you’ve lived together for years, shared a home, raised children, or contributed in countless everyday ways.

If your name isn’t on the lease, title deed, or bank accounts, you could be left with nothing if the relationship ends — no matter how much you’ve invested emotionally or practically.

This is where a cohabitation agreement becomes not just useful, but essential. It’s a legal document that helps you define your rights, protect your contributions, and avoid painful disputes later. And if you're the partner who didn’t earn as much, stayed home with the kids, or supported your partner in less visible ways — it might be the only thing that truly secures your future.

Protecting Yourself in an Unequal Cohabiting Relationship

Not every contribution is made in rands. Maybe your partner earned more and handled the finances, while you managed the household. Or maybe they paid the bond, and you raised the kids, cooked, cleaned, and made sure the home ran smoothly.

The truth is: without a cohabitation agreement, none of that gives you automatic legal rights. South African law doesn’t assume that domestic support, childcare, or home management entitles you to part of the shared assets — even after years of living together.

A cohabitation agreement allows you to:

• Formally record your financial and non-financial contributions
• Agree in advance on what should happen to shared property
• Ensure you’re not left vulnerable if the relationship ends
• Protect both parties from misunderstandings and conflict

This isn’t about mistrust. It’s about making sure that what feels fair emotionally, also holds up legally.

What Can (and Should) a Cohabitation Agreement Include?

A cohabitation agreement isn’t just a formality—it’s a tailored document that reflects the reality of your relationship. It should be detailed enough to prevent ambiguity, yet flexible enough to allow for life’s changes.

Here’s what a well-structured agreement should cover:

Ownership of Property and Assets

Clarify who owns what—whether it’s the home you live in, furniture, a shared car, or savings accounts. If one person owns the property but both contribute, this must be recorded.

Financial Contributions

Detail how monthly expenses like rent, groceries, bond repayments, school fees, and utilities will be shared—especially if one partner earns more or contributes in non-financial ways.

Debt Responsibility

Agree on who is responsible for personal and shared debts—such as credit cards, loans, or store accounts. This prevents financial disputes if the relationship ends.

Household and Living Arrangements

Set out who lives in the home, what happens if you break up, and whether one partner can remain in the property.

Maintenance (if agreed)

Some couples choose to include provisions for temporary financial support if the relationship ends—particularly when one partner has sacrificed earning potential.

Children

While the agreement can’t override child law, it can include parenting and care arrangements that reflect your values and lifestyle.

Dispute Resolution

You can outline how disagreements will be handled—through mediation, legal consultation, or another agreed method.

What If You’ve Already Been Living Together for Years?

It’s never too late to formalise things. In fact, the longer you've been together without clarity, the more important it becomes to document your rights—especially if:

• You’ve raised children together
• One of you has stopped working to support the household
• You’ve invested in property or renovations
• There’s a significant difference in income or asset ownership

An agreement drafted now can protect what you’ve built together and ensure neither of you is exposed in the future.

Can You Claim a Share Without a Contract?

If there’s no written agreement in place, things become much harder—especially for the partner who didn’t earn as much or whose name isn’t on the property.

There are two possible legal avenues:

Universal Partnership

You might be able to prove you were in a relationship that functioned like a partnership, with shared contributions and mutual benefit. If the court agrees, you may be entitled to a portion of the assets.

Unjust Enrichment

If you contributed to an asset (like renovating a home or supporting a business) and received no benefit, you may claim compensation for the value added. These cases are complex and require legal proof.

Why DIY Agreements Can Fail

Free online templates don’t always meet South African legal standards. If your agreement is too vague, poorly drafted, or incomplete, it may be:

• Challenged or dismissed in court
• Misinterpreted
• Excluded from consideration entirely

Working with an attorney ensures the agreement is specific, valid, and enforceable—reflecting the true nature of your relationship and contributions.

How Van Deventer & Van Deventer Inc. Can Help You Protect What Matters

At Van Deventer and Van Deventer Inc., our attorneys assist individuals and couples who choose to live together without marriage—helping them gain clarity, security, and peace of mind through legally sound cohabitation agreements.

We can help you:

• Draft or review your cohabitation agreement
• Define ownership of property and financial rights
• Formalise contributions and responsibilities
• Prepare wills to protect you in the event of death
• Resolve disputes before they become court battles

Whether you’re moving in together or have shared a life for years, we’ll help you put the right protections in place—sensitively, confidentially, and with the future in mind.

To learn more or to speak with one of our attorneys, visit our Marriage & Matrimonial Property Services or get in touch with us directly.